Woonie goes to the Movies

Woonie: Can I have a pair of tickets to "Captain America: The First Avenger" at 3pm?

Service Crew: I am sorry that tickets are sold out - can I recommend that you and your son go for the 7:30pm show instead? There is a Kiddy Palace here and you can find Captain America merchandise there.

Woonie: How did you...

Service Crew: May I also offer you the Captain Popcorn set which I am sure your son will like as it comes with a small Captain America shield.

Woonie: Hey, how did...

Service Crew: And may I suggest that you sign up for the Marvel Superheroes VIP membership - the Avengers movie is coming soon and you'll be invited for its sneak preview!

Woonie: How...

Service Crew: 88% of fathers who watch Captain America with their sons are Marvel Comics fans and are expected to be crazy about the upcoming Avengers movie.

Woonie goes to McDonald's

Woonie: May I know what's today's toy?

Service Crew: The toy of the day is Tigress of Kung Fu Panda 2. Shall I get you a Happy Meal with nuggets, iced milo (with no ice) and apple dippers?

Woonie: How did you...

Service Crew: For your family, I would recommend the "Teppanyaki Chicken McGrill™ Meal".

Woonie: Hey, how did...

Service Crew: Do "upsize" it as the larger drink would be sufficient for your family and you could then order another burger to complete your meal.

Woonie: How...

Service Crew: 66% of families will then order a Filet-O-Fish™, same for you? Paying by credit card right?

Woonie goes to the Insurance Agent

Woonie: Hi pal, today I'm actually looking for something affordable with good returns for my son's education?

Insurance Agent: Here's a comprehensive plan I've already prepared - something that will see him through his studies all the way to a Ph.D. at a prestigious overseas university.

Woonie: How did you...

Insurance Agent: It has been optimized with your monthly salary, expected monthly expenses, probable career progression, and your boy's likely academic prowess.

Woonie: Hey, how did...

Insurance Agent: However, I believe your boy has been to the hospital for persistent fever at least 3 times over the last 3 months right?

Woonie: How...

Insurance Agent: This is a common trend for kids his age because of the seasonal fever months and this will continue for 66% of kids until they turn 9. Not to worry, I have already factored in my plan a specific rider for your son to cover such costs.

Woonie goes to the Pharmacist

Woonie: Do you have something suitable for kids with mouth ulcers?

Pharmacist: Must be for an energetic boy who keeps falling over stuff and asks for sweets after every meal.

Woonie: How did you...

Pharmacist: This gel is suitable for his ulcers but I reckon that you already have it but he just refused to allow you to apply it.

Woonie: Hey, how did...

Pharmacist: So you are hoping that I can give you something else that may appeal to him right?

Woonie: How...

Pharmacist: This special gel is an alternative which works 88% of the time for kids because of its pleasing taste and... I also recommend that you get this special antiseptic cream for your boy because within 5 days, there is a 66% chance that he will need it.

Woonie goes to the Dentist

Woonie: Hi Doc, I'm here for my annual dental check-up.

Dentist: Ah, it must have been more than 5 years since your last check-up right?

Woonie: How did you...

Dentist: And you have been drinking lots of frappuccino for the past months.

Woonie: Hey, how did...

Dentist: And you hope to claim your dental expenses from your new company before the end of the year right?

Woonie: How...

Dentist: You're the 88th male patient I've seen this week with similar biodata - don't worry, there is a only a 66% chance that I find something amiss...

Woonie goes to the GP

Woonie: Hi Doc, I have a fever and a terrible sore throat.

GP: Ah, you must have been sleeping late, playing with your iPad2 till the wee hours.

Woonie: How did you...

GP: And you have been to the recent PC Show, squeezing your way through the crowds.

Woonie: Hey, how did...

GP: And you hope to get an MC so that you can catch up on your sleep on Monday right?

Woonie: How...

GP: You're the 88th male patient I've seen this week with similar symptoms having an iPhone4 and dark circles under your eyes. Nurse Tan, use prescription F1, next patient please!